Just came back from my COS duty. Today's COS came late, so I had to book out late cause of him. sigh. I seriously think that COS duty is a jinx or curse to me. For some reason something bad will always happen outside whenever I do COS. Almost every time, it's fucking ridiculous.

I don't understand what's going on too. Sometimes I feel so unappreciated. All the things I've done, all the sacrifices I've made, it feels like all are for naught. I feel so discouraged, so exhausted sometimes. The worst is this situation can change in the blink of an eye. Why does it always have to be like this?

Sigh, I don't know what else I should say. What else I can say. I feel so helpless. I feel everything bottle up inside me it's suffocating me to death. Where's an outlet when you need one?

4 months and 19 days to ORD.